2016 Trade Deadline

Stone Enjoy After 12-26-15

or

Out with the old. Goodbye Tanguay, we will miss you.

You will like if:

 the word "brettanomyces" gives you a warm fuzzy

The descriptors "musty" and "farm barrel cobweb" sound delicious

You like keeping things from your past, but also like setting them free

You will not like if:

Hops taste like soap to you (what is wrong with you why are you even reading this?)

Barrel mildew sounds like a disgusting way to describe beer

You can't wait for your beer, it must be enjoyed right now

So last year, at the trade deadline, I cracked open a Stone Enjoy After and saved a second bottle to see how it had aged. Which is weird for me, as beer usually doesn't last long in my house. But I keep my "cellar" in the cabinet above my fridge, which is exceedingly difficult to get to without effort. So I tucked it away. 

Last year, the team traded for Caron from the Bruins. I was optimistic, because he seemed like a player who enjoyed getting the garbage goals from the dirty areas in front of the net. 

Ha! Boy was I wrong. He literally lasted like a dozen games and I have no idea where he is now. I won't even google it. 

Fast forward to today, a new season and a new beer. Let's see what I wrote a year ago: The beer itself is fairly tame. The hops aren't overpowering, and it has a mellow finish with a slight spice.

Interesting.

The aged beer has exploded in a festival of bitter hops and funkiness. I was admiring the cork, what with the Stone gargoyle imprinted on the top, as I opened it. But I'm glad I wasn't inspecting too intently, as the cork shot off the bottle with such force I very nearly lost an eye. Which would've meant I'd have to wear an eyepatch, which is awesome and piratey, but would ruin any chance of me becoming a master marksman archer.

I poured the beer. Or tried to, at least. As you can hopefully see from the picture, it was ferocious. I had to let it sit for about twenty minutes before I could even pour enough to try. 

And oh my goodness what a year has done for this beer. A year ago I described it as a fairly tame, weak IPA with a hint of funk. Now the bitter is nearly overwhelming, and it smells like it has been sitting in a cobwebbed barrel in the back of a barn directly beneath a leaky roof in the rain.

Radical Funktastic

Let's get back to hockey. It actually wasn't bad. Gelinas in. Look, I know he's not great defensively. Which is weird to say about a defenseman. But we have Beauchemin, Johnson. Zadorov and Bigras in a year or two to hang back and play defense. We got brought in Gelinas because of this:

The kid has an absolute rocket laser from the point. Barrie can pass and has a wicked wrister, but dang. Look at that shot. I'm okay with that. 

Trade two saw us give up Bleakley (hurts, but he was only ever going to play 3rd line, which we have in spades), Wood (a solid prospect, huge but still raw with lots of potential) and sadly Tanguay. In return we got Boedker.

Look, it hurts losing Tanguay. Bleakley and Wood, yeah losing prospects always hurts and is a gamble. But Tangs, man, that man is a Colorado legend. Still, he was playing like a shell of his former self. Boedker is young, he's fast, and he likes to shoot. Three things Tangs was not. Boedker will fit in nicely with both Duchene and Mackinnon, and will actually be able to keep up with them. I'm actually ecstatic about this trade, and I hope we can re-sign him in the offseason. 

So there it is. New beer, old beer changing, new players, old players changing. 

This season has been a disaster for Colorado, and I firmly believe we will never be legit contenders with Roy leading the bench. I hope I'm wrong, but that's what I see. But the roster looks fantastic in a few years. 

Rantanen - Duchene - Boedker

Landeskog - Mackinnon - Grigorenko

Matthias - Soderberg - Iginla

McLeod - Mitchell - Skille

Johnson - Beauchemin

Barrie - Bigras

Gelinas - Zadorov

Not bad. Paper rosters don't mean much, but I mean, that's a solid lineup. 

We'll see. Good luck Tanguay. 

Best of the Best

Modus Mandarina

or 

These are a few of my favorite things

You will like if:

You like IPA's

You like IPA's with a hint of citrus

You like IPA's with a hint of citrus that happens to be orange flavored

You will not like if:

I guess if you don't like IPA's

Or citrus

Or citrus IPA's

This is an easy one, plain and simple.

Orange in color, hoppy and citrusy in flavor.

Modus Mandarina takes Ska's flagship Modus Hoperandi and adds a bit of flavor. It's light, it's refreshing, and it's delicious.

Bam.

(Mic Drop)


Jason's Year End Best of the Best List:

Best movie and new reigning champion for best movie in the history of movies - Mad Max Fury Road
Best brewery I visited for the first time - Big Choice
Favorite pub to grab a pint on a Friday - Hogshead, 3 years running
Best bar to get your fancy pants on and enjoy an overpriced drink - Arvada Tavern
Best vacation spot - Lake Granby
Best beer - Modus Mandarina by Ska
Best show - Jessica Jones
Best show that isn't new that I started watching - Peaky Blinders
Best concert - Koo Koo Kangaroo
Best band I discovered - Skinny Lister
Favorite hockey player - Max Domi
Favorite video game - This is a tough one, but Assassin's Creed Syndicate
Video game runners up - Fallout 4 and Tales from the Borderlands
Best co-op game - Payday 2
Winner of his tenth straight Stanley Cup on NHL 14 for the xbox360 - Me
Celebrity death that hit me the hardest - Terry Pratchett
Best book I read this year - Republic of Thieves by Scott Lynch
Best single movie moment - This is from Star Wars and is a huge spoiler, so scroll down if you want to see it. If you haven't seen the movie, stop now and have a happy new year!
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- When Kylo is trying to Force grab the lightsaber out of the snow, and it flies past him right to Rey and she lights it up and the music just swells. Man, gave me chills.

Avs Opening Night. I could totally coach an NHL team.

Avalanche Opening Night

or 

Coming out with a bang, ending with a whimper

Hoo boy, where do I even begin. Let's start with this:

Honestly, that might have been the worst third period meltdown I've personally seen. I'm sure there were worse, but this was the one I'll always remember. 

New season, new coaching staff, new draft pick, new free agents, new outlook, new philosophy. This was supposed to be an optimistic year. Rantanen somehow inexplicably dropped to our 10th pick to the delight of Colorado hockey fans everywhere, and several offseason pickups were expected to make immediate impacts. 

I'm a realist, and a student of the game. Well, I say I am. But I know how good the team is. I'm predicting a first round playoff exit. Probably getting lit up in the series. We're on the cusp of greatness. A solid core, a building defense, and a growing pool of prospects waiting in the wings. 

But let's start with the good:

-We came out guns blazing, holy cow. That's the attack I know my boys can mount up.

-The power play looks about a thousand percent better than last year. I don't know what they did, but well done.

-Lando seems to be harnessing Viking Mode more effectively this year. He was an absolute monster out there.

-MacKinnon is playing more aggressively.

-Comeau looks amazing. I was nervous putting what I thought was a 3rd liner on Duchene's wing. But he was easily the better player between Duchene and Iggy.

-Beauchemin was an absolutely stellar signing. His passes were great, his shot was booming, his defense was solid.

-Zadorov, what little I saw of him, had flashes of brilliance. He's still very young, but I see greatness already. I hope he sticks with it and becomes a staple in our defense.

-Rantanen needs to be either bumped up with better linemates or something, because though his line looked awful, I think it was because his linemates couldn't keep up with him. He was flying.

-The 4th line of McLeod, Mitchell and Skill is a huuuuuge upgrade from last year. Cody Mac and John McDangleSnipes Mitchell were on the 3rd last year and were expected to score. This year they seem to be just out there to wreak some havoc, and they absolutely took it to Minnesota. And it got them a goal. Well done.

-Iginla still has one of the best high-slot one-timers in the game.

-The Pepsi Center's media has been given a huge makeover. Which sounds like such a small thing, but seriously. The speakers shook the arena, the 3D projector over the ice was spectacular, we played the Mario mushroom powerup sound when one of our guys got out of the box, and our goal song is no longer written by a convicted child molestor. Also, the intro was Brother in Arms from MAD MAX FURY ROAD.

I'm never going to miss an opportunity to post more Fury Road.

Now the bad, and hoo boy here we go. 

-Holden and Guenin. I have no description, just those two.

-Soderberg looked lost out there. I liked the signing as a 3rd line depth signing, but man, at 5 mill? Yikes.

-Holden and Guenin. Okay I lied, but why in the world are these two still wearing the burgundy and blue? You're telling me Stuart, who was scratched after signing an extension last season, couldn't defend better than either of these two? And Gormley, ranked one of the better prospects in Arizona last season, who is fast as can be with a laser pass and rifling shot, couldn't crack the lineup ahead of these guys? My goodness, as I'm typing this, watching the Colorado/Dallas game, the Stars just scored again. Who were the defenders? GUENIN AND HOLDEN.

-After we were up 4 to 1, a pretty commandable lead with 17 minutes left in the third, the boys just started passing the puck back and forth. No attack, no hussle, no urgency, no killer instinct. And of course Parise scores his hat trick. Because our guys just sat back and what? I guess they thought the Wild were going to just hang their heads and go home? Just absolutely inexcusable.

-Barrie and Duchene looked lost out there.

-Rendulic...eh I like the guy. On the 4th line. He should not be playing with Rantanen on the 3rd.

-Mitchell is on the Power Play. Why?

-McLeod is our extra attacker. Why?

-HOLDEN AND GUENIN.

Please, for the love of everything icy, free Gormley and Stuart. And Grigorenko, while we're at it. Throw him up there with Rantanen and see what they can do. Can't be any worse than our current 3rd line setup.

Here is my ideal lineup:
Landeskog - MacKinnon - Tanguay
Comeau - Duchene - Rantanen
Grigorenko - Soderberg - Iginla
McLeod - Mitchell - Skille

Beauchemin - Johnson
Gormley - Barrie
Zadorov - Stuart

Iggy gets sent down to work with Grigorenko and the Yeti, forming a crash and bang/ shutdown/ scoring third line that he can keep up with. I, sadly, think the Iginla/Duchene experiment is over, as much as I'd like to see it work. Iggy just can't keep up with Duchene, where I think Rantanen's energy can really explode there. Line one gets left as is, because that line is absolutely firing on all cylinders right now. Ideally, Guenin and Holden will be anchoring the San Antonio Rampage, our AHL farm team. And I put Zadorov next to Stuart so the youngin' can learn from the feisty vet and have a solid anchor to rely upon should he decide to pinch up.

You can trust me, I've taken my Xbox NHL Avalanche team to 16 consecutive Stanley Cups.

I don't even have a beer pairing for this I was so taken aback by the meltdown against Minny. Well done Wild. Seriously. I loathe you with the fury of a thousand suns, but you hung in there and took the punch and got back up. Cheers to you. 

GABF 2015

GABF 2015

or

It's the most wonderful time 

Of the year

Where do I even begin? If you are one of the fortunate(!) souls to be reading this, you probably are already very familiar with the Great American Beer Fest. 

BUT

Maybe you don't. Maybe you read this for my photo-taking abilities, and uncanny skill in analyzing what the Avalanche should be doing because of course I can coach from my couch.

Great American Beer Fest is the greatest day of the year for beer lovers. It is one of the biggest sudsy celebrations in the world, cheersing over 3,500 beers over the course of 3 days. 

You want medals? How about 242 of them. 

You want stickers? Well too bad, stickers aren't allowed. But if you ask nicely, most brewers will still give you some.

You want pretzel necklaces? How about pretzels, cheese, funyuns and beef jerky.

You like porters? Stouts? Wheats? Marzens? Sours? Gose? Fruit? Ales? Lagers? Chili beer? Stein beer? Browns? Belgians? Smoked? Bacon? Chocolate? Peanut butter? Well I've got great news for you. I literally couldn't list all of the beer types here. Mostly because I enjoyed a lot of them, and I don't remember.

So I'm not even going to try to explain it. We poured beers, we met brewers, we talked up our suds, we made drunk friends who we are totally soulmates now but will never see each other ever again. So I'm going to go over some of my favorites and stand outs. There are your usual all stars: Great Divide, O'Dell, Dogfish Head, Oskar Blues, you know, the booths that have lines a hundred yards long. I can get these beers, usually, anywhere. So I tried to stay off the beaten path and go for some of the smaller breweries. There are some hidden liquid gems hiding amongst the lesser-traveled booths, and the lines are much smaller anyway. Double win.

Let's start with Brasserie St. James.  Hailing from Reno, Nevada, BSJ (are we comfortable enough to abbreviate? I'm going to say yes.) won the Best Mid-Size Brewpub in 2014, and I can tell you right now they live up to the accolade. I'd never heard of them until I saw them offering Grand Cru. If you don't know what that is, don't worry, nobody does. Grand Cru doesn't really mean anything, but is usually used to describe strong or rare released beers. BSJ offered two things that caught my eye, but the lambic Grand Cru drew me in first. It was heavy, it was rich, it was delicious. I'm no expert, I don't like using words like "mouthfeel" or "tasting and smelling notes." So forgive me when I describe this beer as a tart liquid meal. Grand Cru's remind me often of plum belgian beer, and this was no different. Nothing overpowered the other, and it made me instantly warm and happy.

I pretended to look around and casually snuck back into the line. They also offered a plum lambic. Plum?! I'd never had a plum beer, and I had to have it. 

I plum loved it. Subtle, slightly tart, not overpowering and easy to drink. A bit barrelly and creamy. It tasted like breakfast on the porch of a french farm. 

Lickinghole Creek Brewing was up next. An absolutely gorgeous farm brewery in Virginia, with a somewhat creepy farm picture on their website. At any rate, the brewers themselves poured the beer, and they were exceedingly friendly and willing to discuss their product. Their labels, by the way, are absolutely gorgeous. Quick tangent, have I talked about my far-off dream of being a beer label designer? I have no intention of going to school for such an endeavor, but how much fun would that be? Anyway, I went with Batchelor's Delight because it had a pirate ship label. This was their barrel-aged Belgian Quadrupel. 

This might have been my favorite of the night. Heavy, dark, barrelly, raisiny, vanilla-y. It tasted like rum raisin ice cream. It was trouble, but it didn't scare me off because I went back for another. Probably not wise at 12 percent, but I was already like twelve beers deep anyway so I didn't even notice.

Lastly, let's talk about Uncle Billy's Brewery and Smokehouse from my home away from home, Austin, Texas. Aside from a sweet website with brilliant wordplay, Uncle Billy's makes amazing beer. I had the smoked gose (what?!) Two things I'd never in a million years would have thought to combine, but there it was. It poured like pale gold with subtle lacing, and tasted out of this world. I guess a barbecue smokehouse would naturally have a stable of smoked grains, so I don't know why it surprised me so. But there it is. I don't even know how to describe it because of how unique it was. The smoke was subtle and didn't overpower the tartness of the gose, which was an odd sensation going down because smoked beers are usually dark and heavy and overpowering. Well done Uncle Billy, I will definitely check you out next time I head down that way. 

I was at GABF for two days, so of course I had many, many more good beers. But those were the ones that impressed me enough to write about. I hope someday to visit each one someday to show my appreciation in person. 

Until next time GABF.

Beer Pickles

For the brine (per 2 jars):

1 IPA of your choice. O'Dell IPA is delightful

3/4 Cup Distilled Vinegar

3/4 Cup Apple Cider Vinegar

3 Tbsp Kosher Salt

Boil that up, get ready for your entire house to smell like vinegar, and remove from heat to cool a bit.

In the jars:

This is where it gets all silly nilly. About one cucumber will fill a large mason jar. So will a zucchini combined with a yellow squash mixed with onion and red bell peppers. So let's just say this - 

3 Cucumbers

2 Zucchinis

2 Yellow Squash

1/2 White onion

1 Bell Pepper, color of your choice

1 Garlic Bulb

Whole Peppercorns

Dill Seed

Crushed Red Pepper

1. Cut one cucumber into spears, and another into slices. Fill up ye mason jar. Add some diced garlic, about a teaspoon of peppercorns, 2 teaspoons of dill seed and a teaspoon of crushed red pepper. Boom, there are your basic pickles.

2. Open an IPA for yourself. You've earned it.

3. Slice the zucchinis and squash, chop up the onion (I liked bigger chunks), slice up that bell pepper and distribute them in the remaining jars. The jars should be fairly full. Now mix and match. You'll notice I decided to put tomato slices in one. 

Whatever, you do you.

4. Add a teaspoon of dill to each jar along with 2 teaspoons of black peppercorns. 

5. Here's where you get to flex your creative muscles. Do you want spicier pickles? Throw a chopped habanero into one. The finished pickles aren't as hot as you think, but they will sneak up on you. I love garlic, so I added some to almost all of mine. Red pepper flakes, peppercorns, garlic, just throw some of that stuff in. Put 3 teaspoons of black peppercorns in one, see what happens. 

6. When the brine has cooled slightly (but still should be hot), ladel it evenly into the jars. If you packed them in, the brine should last for six jars. I think I got my jars too large because I had to quickly whip up another like quarter batch. It happens. The brine should cover the future pickles. 

7. Seal the jars and let them sit to cool. I threw on Max Payne and got to Rico Muerte in about an hour and the jars were cool. Soooo, about an hour. 

8. Refrigerate for a week. And I do mean a week. I tried some on day six, and they were pretty tasty, but day seven was exponentially better.

Bam, pickles. 

Payday

Infamous Hijack

or

Let's get rich

You will like if:

You know what utepils means.

You don't know what utepils means, but still like enjoying a beer in the sun.

You enjoy a refreshing beer after lifting millions in cold, hard cash with nobody the wiser.

You will not like if:

You don't particularly enjoy the dry coat that cream ales leave in your mouth.

You need a beer that overpowers your meal.

You're a Waingro.

So there's this game.

Payday 2. It looks violent because it is. 

Wait, let me back up. 

My biggest fantasy is to pull of a daring heist. Jewels or gold or cash or rogue nation technology. Doesn't matter. I mean, it might be a close tie with my other fantasy(Julia Stiles, if you ever read this...) And I don't even care that this is a Dane Cook bit. But have you ever seen that movie Strange Days?

Yeah, that was a weird movie. But bear with me. The premise is you "jack in" to your brain and experience someone else's recorded, well, experiences. At one point you go into the head of a bank robber. I want that. I don't want to shoot up anything, but if I could pull off a wacky hi-jinks-filled caper a la Ocean's 11....I wouldn't work in a school anymore I'll tell you that.

Anyway.

Payday 2 is about pulling off a score. You can go Waingro loud, guns blazing. Or you can go in quiet, gentleman-like. Going quit isn't traditionally stealthy. It's more like this:

It's controlling hostages and managing alarms. And if you don't know what Waingro is, well here:

Loose cannon, wild card baby!

Going loud isn't traditional either. It's not so much Call of Duty, but rather covering your team and positioning yourself with cover. It looks like this:

Which I've heard that military and police swat teams use this scene as an example of moving with cover and suppressing fire.

It's about teamwork and is all about the co-op. Using your team, bringing different skillsets to the table.

There's something old-school about that I think, like playing the greatest arcade game ever made, six player X-Men. Or the second greatest arcade game ever made, TMNT Arcade. But not like the third best arcade game ever made, Primal Rage.

Which, now that I think about it, why hasn't that game been remade yet? Mortal Kombat, Street Fighter, even Killer Instinct got a remake. I'm starting a #resurrectprimalrage movement. You could tie it into reviving dinosaurs from DNA and ride that Jurassic Park wave.

What was I talking about?

Right. So this Hijack, from Texas-based Infamous Brewing.

Hot damn that's a sweet label.

Starting off, it pours corn yellow, slightly cloudy as most cream ales do. Light aroma, mild citrusy and grassy flavor, rather inoffensive. But man, maybe it was because I drank it in the Texan heat while jamming smoked barbecue into my mouth, but Hijack is refreshing. The light lemon and refreshing corny flavor washed down my many, many ribs, and the dry coat that comes with cream ales didn't overpower my pulled pork. 

I couldn't tie the beer to the game in any meaningful way, but the names matched up.

So there it is.

McD is in the hizzouse!

Good day ladies and gents!

After talking with J at length about our love for beer, video games, and general tomfoolery I am excited to contribute to the HopToNoGood blog as a freelance observer of all things serious and silly in my journey through life. I will mostly be posting about the aforementioned musings I encounter, but I will also post fictional and non-fictional pieces as well as I explore my own craft of writing. Some things you should know about me: 1. I love all things beer. Except sours. Fuck sours. 2. I love music. 3. I am passionate about my family, my sports teams (Colts, Liverpool, Avalanche), and my video games.

I will keep this posting short, but I cannot wait to contribute more as I continue my journey. I am currently in the middle of one of (I would say favorite, but that wouldn't be completely true) my favorite fantasy series The Dark Tower (second read through) so I may write some related things on here. Thankee-sai, (related)

-McD