Tuesday, August 11, 2015


Infamous Hijack


Let's get rich

You will like if:
You know what utepils means.
You don't know what utepils means, but still like enjoying a beer in the sun.
You enjoy a refreshing beer after lifting millions in cold, hard cash with nobody the wiser.

You will not like if:
You don't particularly enjoy the dry coat that cream ales leave in your mouth.
You need a beer that overpowers your meal.
You're a Waingro.

So there's this game.

Payday 2. It looks violent because it is. 

Wait, let me back up. 

My biggest fantasy is to pull of a daring heist. Jewels or gold or cash or rogue nation technology. Doesn't matter. I mean, it might be a close tie with my other fantasy(Julia Stiles, if you ever read this...) And I don't even care that this is a Dane Cook bit. But have you ever seen that movie Strange Days?

Yeah, that was a weird movie. But bear with me. The premise is you "jack in" to your brain and experience someone else's recorded, well, experiences. At one point you go into the head of a bank robber. I want that. I don't want to shoot up anything, but if I could pull off a wacky hi-jinks-filled caper a la Ocean's 11....I wouldn't work in a school anymore I'll tell you that.


Payday 2 is about pulling off a score. You can go Waingro loud, guns blazing. Or you can go in quiet, gentleman-like. Going quit isn't traditionally stealthy. It's more like this:

It's controlling hostages and managing alarms. And if you don't know what Waingro is, well here:

Loose cannon, wild card baby!

Going loud isn't traditional either. It's not so much Call of Duty, but rather covering your team and positioning yourself with cover. It looks like this:

Which I've heard that military and police swat teams use this scene as an example of moving with cover and suppressing fire.

It's about teamwork and is all about the co-op. Using your team, bringing different skillsets to the table.

There's something old-school about that I think, like playing the greatest arcade game ever made, six player X-Men. Or the second greatest arcade game ever made, TMNT Arcade. But not like the third best arcade game ever made, Primal Rage.

Which, now that I think about it, why hasn't that game been remade yet? Mortal Kombat, Street Fighter, even Killer Instinct got a remake. I'm starting a #resurrectprimalrage movement. You could tie it into reviving dinosaurs from DNA and ride that Jurassic Park wave.

What was I talking about?

Right. So this Hijack, from Texas-based Infamous Brewing.

Hot damn that's a sweet label.

Starting off, it pours corn yellow, slightly cloudy as most cream ales do. Light aroma, mild citrusy and grassy flavor, rather inoffensive. But man, maybe it was because I drank it in the Texan heat while jamming smoked barbecue into my mouth, but Hijack is refreshing. The light lemon and refreshing corny flavor washed down my many, many ribs, and the dry coat that comes with cream ales didn't overpower my pulled pork. 

I couldn't tie the beer to the game in any meaningful way, but the names matched up.

So there it is.